Viccek angolul - Jokes in English 




Viccek angolul



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Következzen a vicces csomagunk hétvégére!


Joke one: At the Doctor's

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."

The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"

The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."

The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"

Joke two: Two Goldfish

Two goldfish in a bowl talking:

Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?

Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?



Joke three: Railroad Story

Said to a railroad engineer:

What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.

The reply from the railroad engineer:

How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

Joke four: Family Homework

Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?

Student: No, he did it all by himself.

Joke five: Creation of Mankind

Man said to God --- Why did you make women so beautiful?

God said to man --- So that you will love them.

Man said to God --- But why did you make them so dumb?

God said to man --- So that they will love you.

Joke six: Success

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."

The man replies, "And how would you do that?"

The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"

The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."

The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."

The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"

The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."



Joke seven: On the Road

A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.

"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."

The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.

"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."